It’s true, it happened on my birthday. June 6th, known to most as D-Day, but known to me as my B-Day. Hmmm. Well, actually, it’s obvious that it happened on my birthday – ‘It’s my Birthday!’ is written right on the pink plastic bone. Duh!
And that’s why this whole fiasco happened, ok?
I’m a male dog. MALE. Jack Russell Terrier blessed with some very healthy JRT testicles. And I am sorry if I am being very politically incorrect, what with all the gender stereotype busting going on and all, but give me a break – there is NO WAY I would ever show that silly pink bone to any of my K9 pals.
So yeah, there I was, all pumped up for my B-Day celebration, and what does my human pull out of her pocket? Yup – that damn pink doggie bone. So I lost it. I am a Jack Russell Terrier, after all. So I grabbed that pink monstrosity and bit it with all my strength, with the hopes that I’d shred it to bits. Turns out I need to eat more vitamins or something, because all I was able to do was nip off the one end. Burning with rage and plenty of doggie disgust, I flung the birthday blunder into the neighbour’s backyard.
I thought ‘I’ had a crazy temper, but hoo-boy! You shoulda seen my human after that! I don’t have a full grasp of the English language, but I am pretty sure some of the words coming out of her mouth were not pretty.
So no doggie treats for me, no doggie park, and no trip to the pet groomer. Sigh.
Next year, I’m hoping for a bungee ball.
With my luck, I’ll get a pet kitten.
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Patricia Storms is an illustrator/author of humour and children’s books. She loves to draw, paint, write, sing, dance, play the ukulele, and dream. Among her illustrated work are 13 Ghosts of Halloween, The Ghosts Go Spooking, If You’re Thankful And You Know It and By The Time You Read This. She also enjoys writing stories… and has written and illustrated The Pirate and the Penguin and the much-loved Never Let You Go. Her newest, Moon Wishes, co-written with her husband Guy Storms, comes out March 2019. She lives in Toronto with her husband and a very needy cat.
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